The sea sprayed over the ship's deck, casting a shadow of salty mist on the crew, myself included. We had just evaded the wrath of the cyclops, Polyphemus, only to have our captain, Odysseus, further test the cyclops by rubbing our escape in his face.
When will he learn?
Originally, our crew held fifteen strong, but after our recent encounters, we were down to six. It was a woeful reminder now to come back to the ship and gather around the table to eat. Too much space. Odysseus sat down at the head of the table to discuss our next journey before we went back to Ithaca.
The other crew members gave input, but I kept quiet. I try not to say much, considering I was only able to join the crew disguised as a male named Camith."Alas, men! We made it out alive! Where to next? The mountains of Grapito perhaps? I hear the light snowfall contrasting the crisp evergreen trees is gorgeous this time of year."
Wikimedia Commons
"So, Camith, do you agree we should visit the Island of Circe?" Odysseus asked.
"Umph." I shrugged in agreement, trying not to show I had completely lost track of the conversation.
"Good, we should arrive in the next couple of days."Three days later we made it to the island with little clue of what inhabited the island. Not even Odysseus was sure if there was anything to fear. We all had similar reactions to the scenery of the island. It was truly exquisite. The trees were a thick green color and the various flowers, many of which none of us had seen before, were spread delicately as if placed perfectly in a picture.
As we journeyed to the island's center, the men's attitudes and actions became more and more affected. They were under the slight influence of a spell. Through the brush and trees, I could see a mansion where a woman in all white stood waiting for us to greet her.
"Stand with courage, men. I can handle any foe that marks us as prey," Odysseus reassured us.
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| Wikimedia Commons |
"Camilla, you have a challenge lying ahead of you. Your crew is currently under the influence of Circe's magic, and you must save them," the head explained.
"How do you know my name? How am I supposed to save them?"
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| (Diana -- Benjamin Watson) Source: Flickr |
"I am the goddess Diana. Circe's magic only works on men. Use this to your advantage. Break the lust stone on her staff and your friends will be free to escape. You have a great future where you will learn more, but now, you must complete this first task." And with those words she was gone.I pondered everything she said as I made my way back to the mansion. I guess the only thing I could do at this point was figure out how to break that stone.
I entered the looming front doors and immediately saw my comrades in a zombified state. They never took their gaze off of Circe. Not even the "great" Odysseus. I could see they were looking at the staff in her hand. I wondered why at first, but then realized the bright red stone on the top of the staff must be the lust stone Diana discussed.
"Well, hello there, traveler. Come, sit and eat with us. I'm sure you are famished from your great adventures," Circe coerced.As to not arouse suspicion, I acted as I had seen my crew members did before, but I feigned eating anything knowing that the food would still work against me.
"How lucky of me to have so many guests on this fine evening. Too bad none of you will understand me now. It is only a matter of time before you are in a trance forever," Circe declared.One by one she led the crew members out of the dining room into a cellar where she kept what it seemed like about twenty other servants. Why did she need so many? This was my chance to strike.
She guided me into the cellar with a broad steel door. As she went to shut it, I snatched the top of her staff and squared it in between the door and the frame. All it took was a little force and the weight of the door did the rest. The stone shattered into dust and Circe let out a shrill call. Looks of despair and confusion covered her face as she crumpled, as the stone had, into dust. At the same time, my crew members came out of their entranced states, also confused as to how I'd saved their lives. I gestured towards the door, signaling that I'd explain as soon as we were far from this place.
As we arrived back at the ship I turned to the crew and took off my disguise. Their utter disbelief said it all.
"Camith? Who are you?" Odysseus asked.
"Well, up until about midday today, I thought I was a girl who would do anything to go on an adventure. Even sneak into a crew of all men. Now, I'm not sure. I was told I had great things in my future, so it is up to me to figure it out."No one seemed to know what to say, but I knew what I had to do. I said my farewells to the crew for they could not travel on this adventure with me. I chose a smaller ship on the shore (from the other travelers who had come and stayed at Circe's Island) and sailed out to the open water.
It's time to discover who I truly am.
Author's Note: In the original story, Odysseus' first person viewpoint is used and he is the star. He ends up escaping from Polyphemus, which is where I began my story, and then defeats Circe on her island after she has turned the crew into animals (she does not die). My original plan was to include Polyphemus into my story, but I didn't want to take away from Camilla's character. I changed the original by letting a minor crew member character take the lead in the end to save the day. In the original, Odysseus was always the hero, with little talk of the crew's actions , so I wanted to change that. The only good that came from the crew members in the original was from them being first to die instead of Odysseus.I chose to write an origin story for Camilla who finds out by Diana what her destiny is. Camilla replaces Odysseus job in the original, by defeating Circe. It seemed unrealistic to me in the original to have him be able to defeat her, so I thought using a female would be the perfect fix. I have the backstory to Camilla in the bibliography if you want to check that out. I ended it with her leaving the crew with the possibility to write another story about her next adventure to find out who she is.
Bibliography: Homer's Odyssey, Tony Kline; Britannica (Camilla background)
Hey Logan! This story is great! Homer’s Odyssey is a great story and I could imagine it would be somewhat difficult to rewrite and I think you did a fantastic job. I like how you didn’t change much but the change you did make, makes a big difference in the story in my opinion! It reads very easy and smooth. Great story, good job!
ReplyDeleteI liked Camilla as a character a lot! I'm glad that she was able to save the day and that it wasn't all about Odysseus for a minute. I really like the idea that she is out there on her own, having her own grand adventure where she hopefully doesn't have to disguise herself anymore. Overall, your story was very entertaining to read!
ReplyDeleteGreat story! I like that you used a lot of dialogue for your characters. For whatever reason, I think that really makes a story and adds another dimension to what I'm reading. Did you know that in Spanish the word Camilla means stretcher? Like the kind at a hospital. In Spanish speaking countries, women named camilla usually spell it with one l, Camila.
ReplyDeleteWow. I love how you started your story. Very detailed and graphic. It really helps set the scene and tone of the story. I also got super excited after your first paragraph because I absolutely love the original story of Odysseus. I read the book the first time in middle school, and I loved all the characters that Odysseus ran into.
ReplyDeleteBack to your story: I love how you separated the dialogue from the storyline. Not only did you separate it but you indented it. It makes me think I'm reading an ole-time story. You did a great job with dialogue.
I also loved the dialogue you wrote. It helps develop the characters, and helps me, as a reader, understand what's going on better. I like the ending a lot as well. I love the moral of the story, about having to discover who one truly is. I normally write my stories with a universal lesson in them.
My favorite parts of this story so far are the setting of the scene at the beginning, and the clincher near the middle. You set the scene very gracefully: “It was a woeful reminder now to come back to the ship and gather around the table to eat. Too much space.” This doesn’t just tell the reader that there are physically fewer crew members. It tells us that the ship was made for many more men, and the loss can be felt in an even more emotional way because of that. Then, the clincher: “Circe's magic only works on men. Use this to your advantage.” This really illustrates the beauty and cleverness of the point of view you chose. Camith/Camilla is the best possible person to tell this story, because she is the most unique and game-changing person there is. Very intriguing, especially next to Odysseus, who we would expect to be the real game-changer.
ReplyDeleteAre you planning on a multi-part story? About halfway through, I was thinking that this would make a great novella or short story. Obviously because of the word limit it’s hard to revise with that in mind, but if there’s ever a week where you need to write a story and you’re not sure what to do, you could write a second part to this story. If you aren’t already planning on it, of course.
Great story and concept! I look forward to seeing what else you come up with.